Adults
Sexual Intelligence
by Marty Klein
A must read - this book really is helpful to reframe the way we create scripts for ourselves on how we need to function sexually.
Come As You Are
by Emily Nagowski
This top sexual health book is such a needed resource for everyone to understand arousal and desire based on research and brain science.
Braving The Wilderness
by Brene Brown
Brene’s books are essential in learning about human emotion and the way we interact with one another and where we act from. This is another great one, especially if you are struggling with learning how to live into who you are while also being empathetic to others.
Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life
by Glennon Doyle
This book doesn't have much to do with sex, but it has everything to do with relating. Kara is all about books that normalize our emotions, life happenings, and relationships. This book does that with Glennon talking so openly about her life and many will find it relatable and inspiring.
Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations About Food and Money
by Geneen Roth
When we hurt, we sometimes look to fill a void in unhealthy ways with food and money. Many of us unconsciously operate in the world in this manner. Being numb to our feelings also tends to hurt our relationships. Having awareness about our pain and resulting behaviors can consciously work on them and our relationships.
Blood + Milk
A website that is all things woman
AFROSEXOLOGY
A website devoted to pleasure and sexual health education reclaiming black bodies from suppression
Couples
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John M. Gottman & Nan Silver
This book is really good if you are struggling in your partnership. Gottman provides insight into behaviors and attitudes that can be harmful to a relationship and helps navigate rebuilding your relationship with exercises and checklists. www.gottman.com
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
by Esther Perel
Great for couples and for individuals to see truths of deep rooted feelings many of us have, but feel shame for. Through stories, Esther helps normalize our sometimes stressful or embarrassing sexual feelings. It gives us a good look into how communication is key in relationships, but also how a bit of mystery keeps our sexual lives healthy and fun. www.estherperel.com
Why Him Why Her
by Helen Fisher, Ph.D.
Exams four different personality types based on brain chemistry and how those personalities work as partners. An older book, but the insights offered can help us understand how we function individually and in relationships. The heteronormative language may be triggering.
Parents
Sex + Faith: Talking with Your Child from Birth to Adolescence
by Kate Ott
For parents who want to use a faith lens while talking to their children about sex, but is also great for non-religious parents. Kate gives great examples of possible situations and offers suggestions on how to respond to scenarios without judgment or shame. This is a very approachable, sex positive book. It makes conversing about sex with your children as natural and healthy vs a scary topic. www.kateott.org
Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
by Peggy Orenstein
You need to buy this book whether you have daughters or sons. Filled with depth and insight, it shows us that we need to do better in understanding the landscape girls are navigating in high school in college and opens the door to dialogue.
For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health
by Al Vernacchio
Highlights the importance of talking with our kids about sex and why as adults we are afraid of doing so. His words are easy, helpful, informative, and calming. This book encourages creating a philosophy around sex for parents and families and what to teach, something Kara teaches in her workshops. It also reframes sexuality for youth to not simply think of it as sex, but as being a whole person and how we live our lives together.
Sexploitation
by Cindy Pierce
As parents and caregivers, we are a child's first sex educators and as our children navigate the world each day more on screens, equipping ourselves to have conversations with them about sex and porn is important. The author provides guidance and help on how we can process our own views and feelings about porn to aid in these conversations.
Answer - Sex Ed, Honestly
Sex education from youth and professionals advancing equity and impact nationally from Rutgers University, also publishers of teen directed Sex, Etc.
Advocates for Youth
Sex education and statistics for youth, resources on rights and justice
I Wanna Know
Sexual health for teens and young adults from the American Sexual Health Association
Common Sense Media
Unbiased information on social media, apps, and navigating the web with responsibility
Consent Parenting
Dedicated to teaching about consent and helping to prevent abuse
Children
It Feels Good to be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity (4 - 8 years old)
by Theresa Thorn
This was a beautiful book to understand transgender, cisgender, nonbinary, and gender fluid. It was beautifully illustrated and had simple language to help our young ones and old ones learn the spectrum of gender.
You, Me, and Empathy: Teaching children about empathy, feelings, kindness, compassion, tolerance, and recognizing bullying behaviors (4-8 years old)
by Jayneen Sanders
This does a nice job helping your child understand feelings and how we all go through them and need understanding. It gives different times of how we may feel and what we can do to be there for the other. It provides questions to ask and action steps while reading and more to think about as a parent, educator, or teacher.
Changing You!: A Guide to Body Changes and Sexuality (6 - 8 years old)
by Dr. Gail Saltz
This is a children’s book about puberty and is good to read together, open questions and start conversations with. It includes illustrations of how bodies look and how they change over time.
The Brain is Kind of a Big Deal (6 - 8 years old)
by Nick Seluk
The largest sex organ in the body is the brain, so why not learn about how it is needed for our whole body?! We are all about holistic education around sexuality and this is a part of it.
Worm Loves Worm (any age)
by J.J. Austrian
I fell in love with this adorable book on love - love between anyone.
No Difference Between Us (3-8 years old)
by Jayneen Sanders
This book highlights how we all can be different in the things we may like and how we may look, but we can all experience the same emotions. The books illustrates empathy and acceptance. There are also guided questions in the back for each page to enhance conversation.
Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, and Respect (3-8 years old)
by Jayneen Sanders
A great book illustrating what consent is and the boundaries we have for ourselves. It shows body language and how we can celebrate the yes and respect the no. I also appreciate the representation of many individuals.
Consent (For Kids)! (5-11 years old)
by Rachel Brian
This is the best! Super cute with great information presented in an easy way to understand. You and your child will love reading this book.
Youth & Teens
What’s Going On Down There? A Boy’s Guide to Growing Up
by Karen Gravelle
This book covers physical and emotional changes that come with puberty, covers how bodies of girls change too, sexual harassment, orientation and identity (briefly), how to make a baby, sexual intercourse, masturbation, STDs, and then common worries and questions. Read the book ahead of time, then talk with your sons as they read the book.
The Sexual Trauma Workbook for Teen Girls: A Guide to Recovery from Sexual Assault and Abuse (Instant Help Books for Teens)
by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, MS, LPC & Sheela Raja, PhD
This looks at healing holistically and would be great to use with a therapist. This would be a good resource to have if you are aware your child has suffered trauma.
Help Your Kid with Adolescence: A No-Nonsense Guide to Puberty and the Teenage Years
by DK Publishing
If you were to have one book for your child to help them through adolescence.....THIS IS IT! Filled with information boxes and an extremely visual format, it provides information in a clear and concise way covering everything related to the body, puberty, social media, port, relationships, bullying, and managing money.
Growing Up Inside Out
by Kira Vermond
This book is good to read with your child going through puberty. The author takes time to focus on the emotions involved with puberty, beyond physical changes. While the writing is advanced in the emotional context, it has good talking points and to have on hand.
Period: A Girl’s Guide
by JoAnn Loulan, Bonnie Worthen
This is a great book to give your daughters to teach them about their menstrual cycle. The book covers anatomy, changes that happen with puberty, body image - including talking about how genitals also look different for everyone, hygiene, and doctor examinations. It's an easy read and there is a parent's guide in the back of the book. It is an older book, so there are some options for hygiene where extra teaching and discussion is encouraged.
Sex is a Funny Word: A Book About Bodies, Feelings, and YOU
by Corey Silverberg
A must buy covering the word sex, in terms of what it means and in its many uses, this book also includes relationships, gender identity, bodies, appropriate and appropriate touch, privacy, and word used to describe sexual feelings, and words that can help or hurt. The book reflects diversity and puts complex issues into simple language with playful illustrations, simple questions for discussion, activities and a glossary. This is a perfect book to read with alongside your kids (8 years old +). Older children can read this on their own.
Wait, What? A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up
by Heather Corinna and Isabella Rotman
A graphic novel about just what it says; puberty, sex, friendships, gender identity, orientation, having crushes and more. This book also has fun activities to do to really engage the reader. Perfect for today’s youth!
S.E.X. The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties
by Heather Corinna
427 pages of pure knowledge, this book is a great reference for questions and to look up information in a simple to use, but comprehensive format — a great gift for your teen or young adult child.
Vaginas and Periods 101: A Pop-up Book
by Christian Hoeger and Kristen Lilla
This book was co-written by a colleague of Kara’s who is an excellent sexual health educator. An excellent book that has wonderful illustrations that are not scary that Kara uses frequently and is a fantastic teaching tool.
It’s Perfectly Normal
by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley
A comprehensive book on how our bodies change, sex, birth, and sexual health with great information and friendly illustrations. Read it with your child so you can answer any questions.
Let's Talk About it
by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan
This graphic novel features lovely illustrations representing all bodies and different genitals with characters that have honest conversations on many topics including consent, relationship, safety, masturbation, and rejection. Recommended for older teens and young adults.
Sex, Etc.
Sex, Etc. is on a mission to improve teen sexual health across the country by teens for teens. Each year, 5 million people visit this site to get honest and accurate sexual health information on sex, STDs, birth control, sexual identity and more without judgment or an agenda. Sex, Etc. is published by Answer - Sex Ed, Honestly
Answer, Sex.Ed, Honestly
Sex education by both youth and professionals based out of New Jersey
Advocates for Youth
Sexuality education and statistics for youth, resources on rights and justice
I Wanna Know
Comprehensive education for teens and adults through American Sexual Health Association
Scarlett Teen
This website has information on everything related to sex, relationships, health, identity - there are also forums to ask questions
HerDIVASpot (10 - 14 years old)
An online forum and organization designed for girls of color ages to help during the time of puberty to find their voice and to love themselves
Every Body Curious (9-12 years old)
Canadian site dedicated to educating youth about their bodies through fun, engaging and entertaining videos filmed in real classrooms filled with kids
Love is Respect
Engaging, educating and empowering young people to prevent and end abusive relationships
LGBTQIA+
Gender Revolution: A Journey With Katie Couric
In her groundbreaking National Geographic documentary, Katie Couric explores what the words “gender” and “transgender” meanings in a way everyone can understand.
Transgender Law Center
Working to change law, policy and attitudes so all people can live safely, authentically and free from discrimination regardless of their gender identity or expression.
Transyouth Family Allies
Empowering families and children by partnering with educators, service providers and communities to develop supportive environments in which gender may be expressed and respected.
An ALLY's Guide to Terminology
The words we use to refer to the LGBT community and issues can have a powerful impact on our conversations. The right words can open people’s hearts and minds, while the wrong ones can cause distance and confusion. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) created this PDF to assist in making the terminology less intimidating.
It’s Pronounced Metrosexual
A full glossary of terms and definitions on gender identity and orientation from social justice author, author and comedian Sam Killermann.
Queer Grace
An online encyclopedia for LGBTQ+ and Christian life coordinated and edited by Lutheran pastor, Emmy R. Kegler
Keshet
A national organization with resources, events, and gatherings for a world in which all LGBTQ Jews and families can live with full equality, justice, and dignity.
GLSEN
This organization was started by school teachers to make sure that all students who identify as LGBTQIA+ feel safe and are provided with resources.
Q+EDU
Designed to connect, inform, and empower LGBTQIAP2+ and ally students, parents, and educators.
The NW Network
The Northwest Network of Bi, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse works to end violence and abuse by building loving and equitable relationships in our community and across the country.
The Network / La Red
A survivor-led, social justice organization that works to end partner abuse in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, SM, polyamorous, and queer communities
Religion
Pure
by Linda Kay Klein
If you grew up with purity culture then you need to spend time with this book. It highlights so well the troubles many have endured with the shame that some religious cultures bestow upon us. Some of these messages inhibit our ability to have the thriving connections and sex lives we hope for.
Shameless: A Sexual Reformation
by Nadia Bolz Webber
Nadia does a beautiful job of unpacking ideas many have held for years around purity and sexuality. She uses her personal interactions with her parishioners and their stories around sexual shame to help explain how shame is essentially what God did not have in mind. This relatable book discusses the biblical stories brilliantly.
Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality
by Rob Bell
Good Christian Sex
by Bromleigh McClenghan
Religious Institute
With a network of 12,000 religious leaders and people of faith, the Religious Institute is a multi-faith organization dedicated to advocating for sexual, gender, and reproductive health, education, and justice in faith communities and society.
Body
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
For those who have experienced trauma or know anyone else who has, this book helps us understand the way our mind and body are intimately connected. Trauma leaves lasting impacts on our hearts and souls and this book helps us understand why. When we don't work through our trauma it can stay with us, which then affects how we enter into relationships and how we are in sexual partnerships - this provides insight into how to work through trauma.
The Body Is Not An Apology
by Sonya Renee Taylor
One of the best books Kara has read on body image and justice that everyone should read.
International Pelvic Pain Society
Established to educate, support and raise public awareness on pelvic pain.
6 Condom Myths You Never Knew Weren’t Real
Bedsider
This birth control support network includes information on birth control methods to provide guidance and encourage women to take an active role in their reproductive health.
My Sex Doctor
This downloadable app provides information about puberty, relationships, and sex directed to teens and young adults.
“Kara is energetic, engaging & incredibly informative. She allowed our parent group to feel comfortable asking questions about sexuality with ease & aided the group with helpful tips about raising children to be strong, safe & aware. She brought humor & life into a sometimes difficult & uncomfortable topic. We appreciated her perspective & learned so much from her advice, stories, & antidotes. She is a truly wonderful speaker!”
- Kate David, Preschool Board President & Author
